Bee

steviliar @ 2009-04-02T00:34:00

2009-04-02T07:40:03Z

Sometimes you have to start taking things apart before it all just falls apart. It's easier to rebuild when you are in control... When it is a little more expected.

:D

2008-12-29T21:46:44Z

I have started working on plans, although there is not much I can do this far out.

In March or April I am moving back to Chicago!! I just have to wait and see when the mountain passes will be clear enough.

I just need to find a roommate (I will be 2000 miles away from my family and do not especially want to live on my own).

Gahhhhh

2008-12-03T08:18:00Z

I have managed to screw up a lot of things in my life and now I have no idea how to fix any of it, how to make it better. I am not talented, I am not passionate about anything, I have literally no idea what I want to do with the rest of my life and I feel like I am not getting any closer to figuring it all out. I have wasted so much money to go to school and now I am just afraid to go, I don't want to get more in debt. But in the meantime I feel like I am waking up everyday and going to bed every night without accomplishing a damn thing, and I have no idea how to get past this.

For some reason I thought that moving to Washington would be a good idea, and that it would help, but of course it isn't helping any. Right now a huge part of me wants to move back to Chicago and I don't know if it is because that is far away from my parents, and I will be living on my own again, or because it is truly where I want to be. I just know I need to get out of this rut, I need to get out of this apartment, I need to figure out my life for real.
Then you know, I run into the problems of how the hell I would get back to Chicago, where I would live once I got there, and what I would do as far as a job. I love Chicago because I can get around so easily without a car. Today I was home all day, I didn't have anywhere to go, and so I slept in, I watched a few movies and I never got out of my pajamas ... at one point I was going to go for a walk but I then realized that I had no where to walk to, nothing to see. I loved Chicago because on days like today I could walk around the neighborhood I lived in and always find it interesting, or I could hop on the train and get off at a random stop and just walk around. Maybe I just miss a big city? I don't know and I don't know how to figure it out, or how to explain any of it to my parents.

All I know is that I need to get myself out of this, I am 20 years old, and I am so fucking confused all the time, I keep wasting time, and it is driving me insane.
Please tell me how I figure out what I want to do.

steviliar @ 2008-12-01T12:33:00

2008-12-01T20:34:23Z

That makes it impossible to believe that it is December 1st.
I hate this place more as the seasons change.

:DDDDDD

2008-11-11T06:28:05Z

OMFG!

I just bought tickets to go see The Spill Canvas, Augustana, The Hush Sound, and One Republic tomorrow!!

I have not been this excited in so long!

steviliar @ 2008-11-05T01:57:00

2008-11-05T09:58:43Z

OBAMA WON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am so fucking excited and I had such a fucking amazing day!!!!

Also... I semi-understand how people could vote for McCain, but how could anyone vote for Palin?

Fragment

2008-10-28T21:53:48Z

I don't think I will ever believe in love the way I once did.

steviliar @ 2008-10-28T03:05:00

2008-10-28T10:05:57Z

I want to stop being so afraid...
all the time.

steviliar @ 2008-10-14T16:05:00

2008-10-14T23:06:03Z

I keep meaning to update this... I just don't have anything good to say.

steviliar @ 2008-09-21T01:50:00

2008-09-21T08:50:54Z

Click to go to the myspace page.

steviliar @ 2008-07-14T02:42:00

2008-07-14T09:43:53Z

"Arguments are won intellectually, not love.

Love is won, with a dash of trust, a smidge of fear, and a pinch of letting go. "

steviliar @ 2008-06-27T02:27:00

2008-06-27T09:29:05Z

"There is all this greatness around me, but it stops at my skin"
-anonymous

steviliar @ 2008-01-06T03:36:00

2008-01-06T09:36:44Z