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For some reason I thought that moving to Washington would be a good idea, and that it would help, but of course it isn't helping any. Right now a huge part of me wants to move back to Chicago and I don't know if it is because that is far away from my parents, and I will be living on my own again, or because it is truly where I want to be. I just know I need to get out of this rut, I need to get out of this apartment, I need to figure out my life for real.
Then you know, I run into the problems of how the hell I would get back to Chicago, where I would live once I got there, and what I would do as far as a job. I love Chicago because I can get around so easily without a car. Today I was home all day, I didn't have anywhere to go, and so I slept in, I watched a few movies and I never got out of my pajamas ... at one point I was going to go for a walk but I then realized that I had no where to walk to, nothing to see. I loved Chicago because on days like today I could walk around the neighborhood I lived in and always find it interesting, or I could hop on the train and get off at a random stop and just walk around. Maybe I just miss a big city? I don't know and I don't know how to figure it out, or how to explain any of it to my parents.
All I know is that I need to get myself out of this, I am 20 years old, and I am so fucking confused all the time, I keep wasting time, and it is driving me insane.
Please tell me how I figure out what I want to do.
Comments
i'm partial to chicago, but even here it feels like i have no one around to explore with. you should come back and live with me, haha. i feel the same way, about not accomplishing anything. if you were happier in chicago, you should at least visit for a bit and see if coming back does anything to your mood and your feeling of productivity. if just walking around makes you feel better, more alive, then come back.
i know it's kind of strange as i don't really know you, but if you ever feel like talking, you should hit me up via email -- vinyl_static@yahoo.com
I really want to come visit after the first of the year, and stay for like a week, we should hang out whenever I do!
I just can't stand being out here, I thought I'd love it but it is putting me in a worse mood as the days go on. Plus I am really missing actual changes in weather, and thunderstorms and snow storms.
I just have a job at a tattoo shop here that I absolutely love and would be sad about leaving.
you should come because chicago is amazing, and it would definitely be cool to hang out. you should keep in touch via facebook.
i would not be a happy camper if i didn't have my four seasons (and having them all in one week, which is sometimes the case in chicago, as i'm sure you know, haha). if its really making you unhappy, i would weigh your options, though. although it's not the same, i'm in a somewhat similar position considering moving from my dorm room. it just makes me unhappy living here and although i have my own room and it's really adorable, it's just not working out for me. so i'm going to leave, i think.
anyways, i can understand not wanting to leave the tattoo shop, though. but like i said, just keep in touch. i have a friend who's really close with all the artists at this shop in oak park -- just throwing that out there, haha. also, can i pay you to tattoo me?
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Yeah I remember last winter we had the day where it was really warm all day and then that night there were like blizzard conditions. Right now here it is 50 degrees and sunny, I just can not believe that it is December. I grew up in Michigan so I have always had 4 seasons, I thought it would be nice to be away from that but right now I am missing it so much it is ridiculous.
What school do you go to? Why do you want to move out, and when do you think you will do it?
Trust me girl, if I was a tattoo artist I would feel a bit more accomplished and more talented. I have no art skills what so ever. I am just the counter girl... doing all the scheduling and accounting and other not so fun stuff.
I am hoping if I do decide to move that I might be able to find something at a tattoo shop doing similiar stuff, but who knows?
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